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Christi Diggs
on May 23 2013 - 06:00 AM
A drop of spin, a cup of deception and tsp. politics=Apathy
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Lindsay Metcalf
on May 22 2013 - 06:00 AM
When that tornado siren sounds, I'm in the basement
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mara williams
on May 21 2013 - 06:00 AM
Summer break has this mom on a house upkeep war path.
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When I arrived home from work the other day, our nearly-five-year-old daughter ran out the front door screaming, “Daddy’s home!” She greeted me in the driveway with a proud grin and handed me a little white box.
“It’s for you,” she said, as she was about to burst with excitement.
I knelt down and opened the lid to find a dazzling bejeweled ring nestled inside. All I could say was, “Wow!”
“Daddy, will you marry me?” She blurted. Then she reached up, hugged me around the neck and kissed me. Clearly she was not aware that she had just blown the top right off the cuteness meter.
I squeezed her tightly and told her that was the coolest thing anyone had said to me all week, even though I was thinking, "Are you sure you want to marry a musician?"
I just wanted to stay frozen in that moment. Forever. The same way I wanted to freeze the moment when I asked her mother to marry me. It is now packed away securely in my Daddy Hall of Memories. Forever.
After I had assured her that I was beyond flattered and thrilled she had chosen me, I reminded her that I was already married. Oh well, on to the next adventure, and she skipped off to blow bubbles.
As a father of daughters, I can’t help but think about how my girls will bob and weave their way through relationships on their journey to find a life-long partner. And I wonder what kind of partner each one of them will choose.
My wife and I are continually amazed how two kids from the same parents can have such wildly different personalities. Our older daughter exhibits many of the classic “first born” qualities like rule-follower and people-pleaser, while our younger daughter tends to make up her own rules. They are going to handle relationships differently, and they’ll attract different kinds of suitors. So, I approach each one a bit differently.
I think it’s safe to say that kids learn about relationships from their immediate and extended families. And that’s made me acutely aware of how I interact with my girls – how I talk with them, how I touch them, how I praise them and discipline them, how I laugh with them, how much leeway I give them to make their own mistakes. And it’s made me attentive to how I interact with my wife. I want them to know how people should treat each other and, in our case, how a man and woman interact to make a loving partnership work, even when times are challenging and tense.
Not one of us is responsible for another person’s actions. That includes our children. They are independent human beings with their own free will. As much as we’d like to think we have some control over what they do and say, we don’t. Of course, as parents our responsibility is to love unconditionally, even when our kids frustrate us. And our job is to teach our children well and lead by example. But who they become depends on them.
Here’s a link to a song I wrote for my daughter Lyda after she was born. It fairly accurately sums up my feelings about parenthood. The sentiment applies to both my girls and to any parent who is trying to figure out the balance between holding on tightly and letting go. It’s called Daddy’s Girl. I hope you enjoy it. http://www.jimcosgrove.com/mp3/daddysgirl.mp3
I love this, it is so true. I remember wanting to be a doctor, the President, then finally a teacher, but in the end I didn't become any of those. I became many different things, each one fitting me at that exact moment. I used to want my kids to want to become those things I had wanted, a doctor, or President, some big scientist, but as my oldest is graduating and getting ready to attend college to become a spanish teacher, I see how that fits her so well. And I couldn't be prouder. My dreams were mine, and theirs should be all their own.
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