advertisement
-
Christi Diggs
on May 23 2013 - 06:00 AM
A drop of spin, a cup of deception and tsp. politics=Apathy
- read more
Lindsay Metcalf
on May 22 2013 - 06:00 AM
When that tornado siren sounds, I'm in the basement
- read more
mara williams
on May 21 2013 - 06:00 AM
Summer break has this mom on a house upkeep war path.
- read more
- mr. stinky feet - Profile | Pictures | Blog
-
For the umpteenth time in my short tenure as a father I have been subjected to Disney’s “Beauty and The Beast,” and still I have found few redeeming qualities about it. Some of the characters are engaging and the music is pretty good, but the premise of the story and its lessons are not at all what I want my daughters to learn. Belle is a co-dependent glutton for punishment who is in for a rude awakening in the sequel when her prince will likely turn out to be the same self-absorbed jerk she first met. Please pardon the pessimistic outlook, but beasts like him don’t change so easily.
Yes, I know it’s my own fault for falling into the whole Disney Princess black hole, but I’ve got girls and they love their princesses. Each Disney princess has her positive attributes and her dark back story.
Belle is portrayed as a pretty, well-educated, book-smart, “strong” young woman, who is highly sought after by the boys in town. She longs for escape from her provincial village existence, yet she falls for an abusive beast who holds her hostage. Foolishly, she’s convinced she can change him. The story should more accurately be titled “Co-dependent Beauty and The Misogynistic Beast.”
Because my girls love all things Disney, I’ve suffered through the movie too many times to count and a half-dozen amateur versions of the stage production. We’ve read the picture book ad nauseum, and, every time I promise to give it a fair shake and see if there’s something I’m missing in the Beast’s supposed transformation. Nope, it’s pretty clear. He’s an abuser, and she sticks around to accept the abuse.
Most recently we’ve listened to the audio book while driving cross country. At one point in this version, the Beast asks Belle if she is happy in her life at the castle. What’s shocking is that she answers, “Yes.”
Hey, Belle (and all other women who live with beasts), let me recap what you’ve been through up to this point in the story:
This monstrous jerk has forcibly imprisoned your father, verbally abused you and all of the servants in the castle, and forcibly held you hostage in exchange for your father’s release. Oh, but, he did save you from the rabid wolves when you tried to escape, and he has benevolently given you access to the castle library, but is that any reason to fall in love with a beast?
I’ve heard the protests from Belle defenders (including my teen nieces) that she sees the “potential” in the beast and loves him for the handsome prince he is on the inside. Sentimental hogwash! He may be rich and handsome (on the inside), but he’s a cruel dolt who only shows interest in Belle because she happens to be the only woman who stumbled into his life just as the spell upon him is about to expire. He’s desperate. My guess is that as soon as she hangs around for a week or two, he dumps her for the feather duster.
I’m encouraging my girls to turn and run from any guy who treats them like a beast. I was in the person-changing business for too many years, and I’m here to tell you that co-dependency brings you nothing but pain and frustration. People change only when they are ready. We can love them and support their positive attributes from a safe distance, but we’re not ever going to change them.
Oh yeah, I really like Cogsworth and Lumiere, they are the best part of the whole story.
I will be taking a sabbatical from my blog posts over the next couple of months as I focus on my summer tour. You can follow musings from our tour on Facebook at "Jim “Mr. Stinky Feet” Cosgrove."
I completely agree with everything you've said. We need to teach our daughters at an early age that abusive treatment in the name of "love" is not love, it is about control, and is not acceptable.Disney tends to sterilize and remove both the tragedy and the beauty from fairy tales. Beast and his motives are explained in this review of the original movie: He (the Beast) is a character divided in two. His animalistic qualities beg him to free himself of the restrains of human limitations while his logical side urges him to consider Belle and all her beauty, a reasoning which thoroughly convinces him of his own humanity. She is his saving grace and without the beauty of things, we would all be left as animals." Oh, by the way, I can assure you that my girl survived being completely devoured by the Disney princess phase and went on to be a powerful, confident young woman who won't settle for a beast.bufinora: That's good to know your girl survived. No doubt our girls will too, I'll make sure of that. Thanks for the review of the original!Jim! Let our girls have their fantasy princess tales without the burden of knowing the problems/realities of the real world! I, too, have watched and read some of these princess stories and scoffed. I have almost sat my daughter down and said "Don't believe it for a minute that your prince will come and kiss you and you will live happily ever after." But, that would be like telling them there is no Santa Claus. They will get it later in life when it is time.While I can see your co-dependency points, Belle, as with all young girls encounters a much bigger issue--bullying and mob mentality. The true BEAST of the story is Gaston, who's ego and disregard for anything different spreads mass hysteria. As a teacher I see young girls bowing to this peer pressure every day, just as the villagers go along with Gaston in wanting to kill the beast. "We don't like what we don't understand. In fact it scares us, and this monster is mysterious at least" is what the mob cries out. I've used Belle as an example of how to stand up to bullies and do what is right, even if you don't go along with everyone else. Perhaps by focusing on that aspect of the story will show your daughters and all young girls that they do not have to stand idle or go with the crowd. Use that aspect of Belle as the lesson to be learned.Edumom: Love that! Thanks for the response. I agree that Gaston is a bully/thug. And still think that Belle should run from both him and the Beast.There is a book about a princess which may better fit the message you would like to pass on to your daughters. It is The Paper Bag Princess by Robert Munsch. It's been a favorite of my 6 year old granddaughter who also has the princess bug. I hope you will enjoy it together.I agree! I have talked to my girls about the bully Gaston (great lesson, Edumom!) and briefly discussed Stockholm Syndrome and abuse (in very limited terms, of course) as my kids were older. We also point out the good parts--how to see the good in someone, how to be positive about a bad situation, how love is transforming, etc. Keep up your awesome parenting! (ps-Nanners, I LOVE "Paper Bag Princess!")
May 2013 Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 Tagslove (5)
travel (4)
jiggle jam (3)
memories (3)
music (3)
tragedy (3)
violence (3)
balance (2)
baseball (2)
books (2)
budget (2)
cancer (2)
dolls (2)
drama (2)
fear (2)
food (2)
halloween (2)
health insurance (2)
holidays (2)
kansas city (2)
marriage (2)
parenting (2)
reading (2)
respect (2)
road trips (2)
small business (2)
thanksgiving (2)
vegetarian (2)
volunteering (2)
aging (1)
allowance (1)
anniversaries (1)
arts (1)
attitude (1)
bacon (1)
baking (1)
baskets (1)
beauty and the beast (1)
being wrong (1)
big sisters (1)
bongo barry (1)
brady bunch (1)
bullies (1)
bullying (1)
bus (1)
challenges (1)
change (1)
childlike spirit (1)
christmas (1)
co-dependency (1)
concerts (1)
consumerism (1)
costume (1)
creativity (1)
cuddling (1)
curious george (1)
dads (1)
dancing (1)
decorations (1)
diapers (1)
diet (1)
discipline (1)
disney (1)
don harman (1)
donations (1)
dreams (1)
drums (1)
easter (1)
education (1)
emotions (1)
expectations (1)
family attractions (1)
family business (1)
family festival (1)
family fun (1)
family meals (1)
fatherhood (1)
fruit (1)
grace (1)
gratitude (1)
greatest day (1)
grief (1)
hallmark (1)
happy bottoms (1)
health care (1)
healthy choices (1)
healthy meals (1)
home (1)
home school (1)
hospital (1)
humbug (1)
imagination (1)
inspiration (1)
judgement (1)
kansas (1)
kauffman center arts (1)
kids music (1)
laughter (1)
mayans (1)
miracles (1)
moderation (1)
money saving (1)
neighbors (1)
new job (1)
normal family (1)
nutrition (1)
older parents (1)
one direction (1)
parenthood (1)
paul mccartney (1)
peace (1)
phases (1)
picky eaters (1)
playground (1)
pop culture (1)
poverty (1)
pride (1)
promises (1)
quiet time (1)
relationships (1)
resolutions (1)
rest (1)
rituals (1)
road trip (1)
sanity (1)
saving (1)
school lunch (1)
self image (1)
service (1)
sharing (1)
shopping (1)
simplify (1)
sleeping (1)
snow day (1)
social media (1)
social norms (1)
solitude (1)
souvenir (1)
souvenirs (1)
special needs (1)
spring (1)
spring break (1)
springtime (1)
stress (1)
suffrage (1)
sugar (1)
super heroes (1)
sweets (1)
taking risks (1)
teachers (1)
television (1)
tolerance (1)
toy story (1)
truth (1)
tsunami (1)
tv (1)
vacation (1)
voting (1)
work life balance (1)
worry (1)