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Christi Diggs
on May 23 2013 - 06:00 AM
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Our six-year-old has been deeply moved by the news coming out of Japan. Ever since she bounced into this life, she’s been an intuitive Buddha-like emotioneer. She not only exudes sincere compassion for other people, she has developed a freakishly mature interest in world affairs.
The other night while my wife Jeni was reading a Toy Story 3 picture book to the girls, Lyda interrupted with, “Mom, how are things going in Japan?” Jeni just wanted to keep the mood light, so she told her things were improving. (If only that were true.)
A couple of weeks ago at dinner, Lyda asked, “Dad, what’s the latest from Egypt?” Huh? How old are you? The practical answer is six, but clearly she's an old soul. I had wrongly assumed that she'd be more interested in how Barbie is doing, than in the details of a defeated dictator.
We rarely watch TV in our home, so she hears bits on the radio in the car and picks up pieces of adult conversation. I had started to think that maybe we expose her to too much. Of course, I don’t want her getting upset about heavy topics or worrying about “adult” matters, but I want her to know the truth about things that interest her. She has such a bright and innocent take on these things that is so refreshing. Most kids understand a lot more than we give them credit for.
After looking at some of the tsunami videos on the web, she had loads of interesting questions. So I asked her what we could do to help people in Japan. Without hesitating, she answered very matter-of-factly, “Well, of course, first we pray.” Right on. “And we could raise money and send it to them so they could buy things to rebuild their houses.” Great idea.
It’s in times like these that I recall wise advice that I’ve heard many times over the years from many sources. It goes something like this:
No amount of my feeling bad, sad, angry, guilty, or helpless is going to help feed, cloth, house, or bring peace to those who lack those things.
And then I think about something Mother Teresa said, "Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time and always start with the person nearest you."
So, last night when our three-year-old couldn’t sleep, she asked me to rock her for a while. As I held her snugly in the dark, I couldn’t help but notice the silence. The house was warm, dry, and quiet. That’s when the stark images from Japan began swirling in my head. I could only imagine that there are tens of thousands of people on the other side of the world whose homes (if they still have a home) are not so warm or dry or quiet. The eerie images of that black wave spreading throughout city streets like the angel of death have haunted me for the past five days. I squeezed my daughter a little tighter.
I’ve heard all the trite phrases to describe the scenes and the equally intense waves of emotion that followed. For me, “dumbstruck” suffices. The sheer power of nature and our insignificance against her is awe inspiring and humbling.
So, what do you do in your families to explain and sort through these monumental world events?
I am honest with them, in an age appropriate way. I have a son who is very touched by the news too. Recently he regaled us with all of the reasons why it was so devastating for us to do so much business with China. We discuss Egypt, he was touched by the tsunami, especially because a good friend had just left Hawaii a couple of days before. I know the news is bad sometimes but they hear the good too, so I think there is a balance."Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time and always start with the person nearest you." I love this quote! And I can help starting with my own kids. Since my husband is in journalism, we tend to have lots of convos on world events. We talk about what's going on (basics) and then what we can do. I know I need to hear specifics that I can do, and it's good practice for our kids to see ways to deal with emotional distress, including positive action (though I find I'm more talk than action.) You've got a natural "do something" kid in your 6 year old, that's for sure. Fun!I explain current events to them by answering their questions in an age-appropriate way. We watch a lot of news in our home and discuss current events, so questions from the kids are only natural. My youngest saw the tsunami news and said, "We have to help them. What can we do?" I showed him how to donate to the Red Cross, get the money out of his piggy bank, and send it off to them. I'm very proud of him! I agree with you Jim - it's one thing to talk about what's happening, and another thing to actually do something.I got emotional reading the part about you putting your daughter to sleep and you thinking about those people in Japan. I just read a story about all the things are are going through out there. It made me think sometimes we complain about little things like how long the line is at a restaurant or at the grocery store. Instead of complaining we should be thankful that we have a house to go to, that we have warm water to shower with and everything else we have. Many people in Japan would love to have what we have and yet there are those who don't appreciate it
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