I’m guessing that anyone reading this post is old enough to know there really isn’t a fat, bearded, old man in a red suit flying through the air in a sleigh drawn by reindeer.

But this year I really wish there were.

I thought that when my kids got older Christmas would be easier. Boy was I wrong. This year more than any year I can remember, I’m having the hardest time ever doing Christmas.

It’s not really a money issue, although money is definitely tight. The problem is remembering all the Christmases passed when sneaking around buying gifts for the kids was so much fun. I looked forward to Christmas morning as much as the kids did. I had spent so much time trying to find the perfect gifts for each of them. I would go from store to store until I found exactly what they had asked for and I had said no way you are going to get that.

I couldn’t wait to see their little faces Christmas morning, watch them tear into their gifts and jump up and down when they discovered Santa had brought them exactly what they’d asked for.

Even as they got older and all they wanted for Christmas was clothing it was still fun. They still got excited about Christmas morning. They looked forward to waking up around 9 a.m. and making coffee and benet’s with their dad and then begging mom to get up so we could sit down to breakfast and afterwards exchange gifts.

But this year for some reason there doesn’t seem to be any Christmas spirit in the house. It’s strange too because this is our first Christmas in the new house so one would think there would be a special energy flowing in here. But, not so much.

To top it off, no one is asking for anything really special this year.

My youngest got a new car this year so he says that was Christmas enough for him. He doesn’t want anything. Plus, he is going to visit his God parents for the first Christmas with them ever. So he won’t even be here on Christmas morning. That makes me sad. But I understand him feeling as though his God parents deserve to have him there for at least on Christmas.

My oldest wil be here but the only thing he wants for Christmas are new tires for his car. He’ll get that but tires under the tree just doesn’t compare to a big wheel or his first skate board or inline skates or a bike.

I just can’t bear the idea of having a tree without gifts under it. I’m thinking I’ll just go our and buy them each some stuff anyway even though they haven’t really asked for anything. They have to have something to open. And then, with Jordan leaving for Atlanta three days before Christmas, we’ll probably have to exchange gifts early.

I just don’t think Christmas is going to be too exciting at my house this year and that really makes me sad.

Last year was so awesome because even though the boys hadn’t asked for much, we were in New York for the holiday and can you think of any place better to spend Christmas than New York. It was fabulous. How do you top that other than Paris. That would be special. But who can afford to fly the family to Paris for Christmas. Not I.

So I’m trying to think of something to do that will make this holiday memorable, make it special and bring some cheer into the house.

Maybe after Trey comes home and we hang the bulbs on the tree the spirit of Christmas will be awakened here. When I was a kid my parents used to wait until Christmas eve to put up the tree. And even when we were old enough to know there was no Santa who slid down the chimney, ( we didn’t even have a fire place.) and wiggled his nose to setup and light the tree, we still put it up on Christmas eve. It was always a blast, drinking eggnog, singing Christmas songs and trimming the tree.

I think it would be fun to go caroling this year but I know the boys will never go for that.

I’m thinking I just wish there really was a Santa and that he would squeeze his fat tail down my chimney this this year. I wish he were real and that I could count on him to know exactly what to bring to the Williams’ house this year to restore the spirit of the holiday.