There has been a lot of sympathy expressed for the child left behind, rightly so, and for the family of both the Chief’s player and his girlfriend. But I can’t help thinking about those young people’s mothers especially the mother of Jovan, because he was the one who in the end it seems was broken in some way.

By all indications he was a decent young man and this behavior was out of character. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to lose a child in any way especially one so horrific and violent.

I can’t stop thinking that his mother probably did a good job raising him. He did all the things we hope for our children - finished high school, got int to college, graduate, pursued his dreams and was known to his friends as a decent and respected man. But something happened. Something that made him snap. We don’t know what that was, whether it was something beyond anyone’s control or not.

That’s were this all gets so difficult for me.

Now I don’t want to isolate anyone by bragging on my children. I remember my dad lost his best friend for a while because he was always bragging about the good things his children were doing. People don’t want to hear that all the time. It gets old. I know that. But in light of the Jovan Belcher incident I want to go on record saying I don’t care who is tired of hearing me talk about my beautiful boys. I just want to say, I’m so proud of the men they have become. And I pray every night that they go through life without some devastating spark that burns out their light before it is time. I hope they finish school and have a chance to go after their dreams.

It’s so scary because you could do every thing right, although none of us do everything right, and still tragedy could twist, tangle, take their lives from them.

So while things are good, while they are on the right path, while they are making me so proud of them, I want to go on record saying Boys you are amazing, my heroes.

I think that all of us parents should be mindful of how blessed we are to have children who are trying so hard to make us proud. And by golly we ought to have no problem telling them every chance we get how proud we are and how much we appreciate who they are and what they are doing.

I as much as the next person know the true meaning of here today, gone tomorrow.

I called my oldest tonight just to ask him about his life what’s going on in it and to make sure he knows his mama loves him, not just because he is doing amazing work in college but because, he is my son and what a blessing he is to me. He understood what had prompted me to make such a call in the middle of the week for no reason at all. And, he assured me he was doing OK, working hard and trying his best. That’s all I ask.

I find a reason just about every day to tell my youngest how proud of him I am. Don’t get me wrong. That certainly doesn’t mean I don’t also tell them when I’m disappointed, because I do. But I do want them to know they are loved. That is not to say that knowing I love them is all it takes. This is a cruel and unforgiving world. I tell them that too. If you screw up it can be devastating. But we all make mistakes. I just hope the mistakes they make won’t destroy their lives either literally or figuratively.

My heart is heavy for the mothers of those two young people with so much promise in life. My heart is heavy wondering why Jovan didn’t realize that whatever they problem it could be worked out, fixed or forgiven or forgotten. Violence is never the answer, there’s no fixing that.

I’ve been sad these last few days, for the mothers. I’ve been happy too that I can still tell my boys how great I think they are. I can still wrap my arms around their necks, hug them tight.

If you haven’t done that in a while, today is a good day for hugging your child. Life isn’t promised. Here today, gone tomorrow.