Once someone has stolen something from you, I think it taints your trust of people, maybe forever.

But I hope not.

Before last Labor Day weekend when my wallet was stolen virtually from right under my nose, I never worried about someone stealing from me. I mean I’m not totally nuts. I do lock my house up when I leave it. But I used to walk around all the time without snapping my purse shut and sometimes leave it sitting in the booth at those all-you -can-eat restaurants when I’d go up to the bar to fill my plate. But not any more.

I remember my mom would always say a thief is the worse kind of person because a thief will cheat and a kill if cornered. Now, I’m not so sure I believe all of that, but I do know that the person who steals from you takes more than the item they swipe, they take a bit of your goodness, your trust with them.

I think that’s happen to me. This weekend my son’s friend, the young man who a few months ago was homeless and stayed at my home overnight to get off the street and out of the cold, stopped by. Again, he needed a place to stay for the night. Of course, I was more than happy to let him bunk with us for the night.

The boys were in the family room playing video games and I went out to pick up goodies for them. I knew he was hungry. I noticed that he’d already grabbed a hand full of chocolate chip cookies from the jar. So I put together a nice platter of chips and salsa, little smokeys, and vegetables for them to snack on and told the young man he could crash in my older son’s room for the night. Like teenage boys will do on a weekend, they stayed up late playing video games. I said my good nights and headed to bed.

Laying there I remembered that my oldest son had left his high school ring on display in his bedroom. He’d saved for months and paid several hundred dollars for that thing. It’s pretty. I was worried; What if this young man walks away with that ring?

I’d taught my boys when they were tots that stealing was wrong.

My youngest once picked up a little car on a display at a book store and I didn’t notice he had it until we were nearly home. I know that’s not uncommon for little guys to do before they understand the concept of money and purchasing things. But I saw this as a teachable moment. I turned the car around and told him that he could go to jail for taking things that don’t belong to him. I told him that is called stealing and it is a crime. I think he was about four -years-old at the time. I told him he would have to go into the store and tell them what he had done and that he might get in big trouble for taking what did not belong to him.

When we got back to the store an armored truck was parked out front, and he thought the store had called the police. He asked me to take the car in for him because he didn’t want to go to jail. I said I would go with him, but he would have to tell them what he’d done. He went in and with tears in his eyes explained to the clerk that he was sorry for taking the car and that he would never do anything like that again. He still remembers that incident to this day.

But I wasn’t so sure this young man had learned that same lesson. I didn’t trust that he would not steal that ring. In fact, and I’m not proud of this, but I was nearly certain he would take it. And it made me sick that I felt that way. But that was the reality. I was worried.

I had even thought about what I would say to him.

 I had decided I was going to just be straight forward. "I know you took the ring, put it back and nothing will be said. But you won't leave this house until it is returned. Don't make me have to call the police on you." 

 I didn't want to do that because this young man has already had enough trouble and I know he's been accused of other things by adults in his life, not criminal. They were never proven and he swares he didn't do them. I believe him.

That morning I got up, made breakfast and while the boys were eating I slipped into the bedroom to see if the ring was still there.

And there it was, sitting on the desk in its box. Just the way it was left. Phew! Now I had to decide whether I would leave it there. I closed the box and left it on the desk.

I felt awful for having even thought this young man might do something like that. After all, he has always been welcome in my home and we have always been kind to him. He has always been polite and respectful too. I was so happy that I was wrong about him. A year ago the thought of theft never would have even entered my mind.

I felt so guilty, I took both boys to the movies later that afternoon.

I’m a lot more cautious these days and I know it is because of last year’s theft. But I do hope that I won’t be suspicious of everyone, especially the people I invite into my home.

I don’t won’t to live like that. Besides, I worried all night and wasted a whole night’s sleep, all for nothing. And all I got for that were bags under my eyes.