Sharing; is a lesson all of us were supposed to have learned by the time we were three years old. Of course, back then they were talking about your candy, cookies and toys.

Well, this summer I’ve come to realize that being able to share your children with the rest of your family — aunts, uncles, cousins, grand parents, even pseudo-family — is a blessing for you, the kids and the family. A win, win, win; a hat trick for all you sports fans.

As most of you regular Mom2Mom readers already know, I sent both of my boys on an adventure this summer. It’s the first time I’ve been away from either of them, except for Trey being at school in Maryville, for this length of time. Oh wait, I forgot about the time I went to Kenya for a month. But that was different. I was the one leaving that time, not them. And they were home safe with their dad, you know what I mean?

This time, Jordan flew to New York, to be with my brother, his wife and their two boys, 12 and 14 which is Jordan’s age.

Trey flew off to Kenya and stayed with a friend of mine there. Trey tells me he feels as if he matured so much being there. And my friend, a mover and shaker in Nairobi, began introducing Trey as his son. He really took him under his wing. He has two girls and until Trey’s visit, he didn’t have a son. He tells me that having Trey there meant a lot to him, And, by the same token, Trey, who lost his dad in December, and really was probably missing the man to man thing, made what is sure to be a life-long bond with a father figure. I’m so glad he got a taste of the man-to-man from my Kenyan friend. Sharing, it’s a beautiful thing.

If not for New York, Jordan would have spent the entire summer in the house reading books and watching educational television. He needed some man to man too. And he needed to be around young men and to get in to some minor mischief. That’s what teenaged boys do during the summer. You gotta have some stories to tell about the things you did with the boys back when, when you’re all grown up.

He needed some richness in his life. And while he and I have great fun together and I try to expose him to all kinds of culture and such, This was something I personally couldn’t do for him. But, my brother and his boys, and my brother-in-law and his dad (the grandpa figure) could do all that.

So off to New York; I missed him beyond words. But it really takes a village. I knew that what he would get in New York would be the stuff he’ll talk about the rest of his life. I knew that being there, hanging with the guys, swimming every day, playing B-ball and getting into court clashes, going to the ball park and staying up late talking in the dark about whatever teenage boys talk about would help to shape him; round him out even.

I wanted him to have all of this. What I wanted for them both was what each of them got this summer. They got it because they really needed it.

I just think that as parents we can only give our children so much. But we have people in our lives that may have some element they need for their development and we should be willing to share them so they can get what they need. That's parenting too, don't you think?

Now, of course all families have the crazy uncle that we would not trust to got to the store with $10 for a loaf of bread and milk, and come home without a pint, if they returned at all. And that is definitely not the one you want to entrust your child to. But, really, if it weren’t for my family and friends stepping up to help out when I’ve called, I think my boys would miss so much.

As it turns out they have gained. The best part is my family says they got so much from the boys. Jordan built a stronger relationship with his cousins who he’s been lucky to see once every few years. Now, they are tight.  Ive noticed that he hasn't been as sarcastic, and isn't spewing a string of smart remarks at me, the way he was doing so often before he left.  But I'm sure that will return, and I'll try to keep up, slinging smart remarks right back at him, because that's who Jordan is.

 But all in all, the boys had amazing summers. So did I. Knowing they were safe and growing in good ways made me happy, gave me peace of mind. And let's face it. I don't care how good a mommy or daddy you think you are, every one needs a break now and then, and yes Mara (I'm talking to me now) every now and then, everyone, even you, needs a little help But you can call it sharing,  if that pill is easier to swallow. It's all good.