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mara williams
on May 21 2013 - 06:00 AM
Summer break has this mom on a house upkeep war path.
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How was your weekend? Ours was great! We went down to the Lake of the Ozarks and met up with some family. "This is real Missouri," I told my husband. "We don't really live in Missouri. We live in Kansas City. These trees, this lake, this is really Missouri."
When I was a kid, if there were woods nearby, I was in them. If there was a lake in the vicinity, I was swimming in it. My bare feet were torn by rocks and sticks because I was always too stubborn to wear my shoes. And there was hardly a tree I wouldn't dare attempt to climb.
So, when we were down at the Ozarks this weekend and a group of kids were getting lost in the woods, I expected my son to be there with them. But he wasn't. Would you like to know where he was?
In the cabin with his cousins watching TV.
This came after the video game ban my cousin Sarah and I imposed on our respective children. We had Mother Nature herself at our beck and call, but they preferred to be on the iPad, or the iPhone, or the Nintendo DS. Seriously, kids? Minecraft is preferable over finding the monster that lives in the woods?
I wondered at first if it was because Marc was scared of the woods. On the first day, they all went out there. Marc and his cousin Lucy got a little lost and one of the adults had to find them. They were fine, and not really shaken up. But my little boy is sensitive! I asked him, and he said it wasn't that.
I thought, maybe it's because I wouldn't let him climb up into the deer stand and now he's mad at me. He's done that sort of thing to me before, you know. But he said it wasn't that. He said he was just bored. Bored? Excuse me?
I didn't know. I mean, I kind of felt like we had all these cousins and second-cousins here. There was cooking, and drinking, and laughing out loud. There was a fridge of neverending soda pop. There were rides on the four-wheeler. We did get them out long enough to go down to the lake for some swimming, so there was that.
Charlotte, on the other hand, was quite fearless. She begged me to take her into the woods, so I did. She sort of took off on me and I had to bring her back, quite literally kicking and screaming. I mean, she was actually kicking her feet and actually screaming at me. She is my little nature girl, for sure!
Later on, I was sitting out on the porch with Sarah, watching the kids play. Well, not all of the kids. Marc and his cousins Jack and Peter had gone back inside the cabin. The video game ban was still on for the day, but we could hear the TV on, and we could hear the boys laughing. "I think it's time to turn off the TV and kick the kids out of the cabin," I said.
"I'll do it!" Sarah said, a little too excitedly.
The boys came out with their heads hung low. Nobody looked at me or any of the other adults. They were mad, that was clear. But there were only a few hours of daylight left and they were gonna by-god enjoy them!
"Marc!" I called down into the woods after him.
"Yeah?"
"Would you like my permission to climb up into the deer stand?" Peter was already up there. His mom had given him permission a long time ago.
"Yeah," he said. He sounded annoyed that I had said no to begin with. It was so very tall!
"Okay," I said, and he did, and he didn't fall out.
I'm not sure exactly when I saw the boys next. Sometime around dinner, I think. We all went back into the cabin afterwards and got into our jammies. Marc, quite tired, asked me, "Can I use your iPhone?"
No, Marc. You can't use my iPhone. The day is not over. No video games. Peter asked to use the iPad. Sarah said no. I kind of had to roll my eyes. I mean, I understood their logic. The day was techinically over. But we stood our ground.
Can you guess what Marc's first question was in the morning? I won't even tell you. I'll just let you guess.
Now, I'm one of those moms who has warm feelings for video games. I play them. I think they're good for critical thinking and problem solving skills, et cetera. But all the time?
That's not to say our weekend was ruined or anything. Oh, no. Marc still got out into nature, even though I kind of had to shove him there. Mitch had a blast talking with my cousin Eric about music and such. I got to see family I love deeply but never really get to see. I'm pretty sure Charlotte had the time of her life on the four-wheeler and in the lake!
But I understand now why those moms who I used to think were maybe a little overprotective would want to limit the gaming. Hell, not just the gaming, but all the screen time! It gets habitual, and even addictive. It keeps kids from living in the real world, and experiencing real world issues. Those critical thinking and problem solving skills are no good if you don't put them into practice.
Ooh, that sounds like a good status for my Faceb... oh wait...
Today, my other cousin Wendy told me she had told her son she didn't want to see the DS all weekend, and she didn't. He did it! Good job, Matthew! So, I know it can be done.
Right now Sarah is brainstorming some effective ways of limiting the games at her house. I have a particular plan in place at my house, but I'm thinking of limiting all screens even further somehow. I'll probably try out a couple of things and see what works the best.
How about you? Do you limit game time or TV time at your house? If not, do you wish you did? I wish I did. This is one area I'm really too permissive in. It's hard to limit it when I'm always in front of a screen myself! I'm thinking about limits for everyone here. I'll let you know how it goes!
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