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Christi Diggs
on May 23 2013 - 06:00 AM
A drop of spin, a cup of deception and tsp. politics=Apathy
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Lindsay Metcalf
on May 22 2013 - 06:00 AM
When that tornado siren sounds, I'm in the basement
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mara williams
on May 21 2013 - 06:00 AM
Summer break has this mom on a house upkeep war path.
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I didn't have a family for a couple of days. That's right, they ditched me. Marc was with his dad an extra day for Sunday, and his usual Monday and Tuesday. Mitch left with Charlotte on Sunday afternoon to visit Grandma in Des Moines. For three days, it was just me and the cats.
I have to make a confession here. Every once in a while, I think about what it was like when it was just me. Just think, mind you. I love having a family. But sometimes I think about how I used to have the freedom to hang out at the coffee shop all day long, or at the bar with my friends all night. I used to spend hours at the bookstore with no small children to entertain. I used to have the whole bed to myself, and no one ever ate my leftover Chinese. I could do the dishes when I got around to it. I could put my soap where I wanted to put it. The house was as quiet or loud as I wanted it to be, and the television was mine all mine!
Three days without family meant a brief chance to relive all of that Single Val glory, and send Mama Val on a little vacay. Here's how it went:
Sunday night, after Mitch and Charlotte left me all by my lonesome, I reheated some leftover pizza and ate it. Then, I watched TV and played CastleVille on Facebook until I was too tired to stay awake anymore. I went to bed at around midnight, which is around an hour later than I usually do. It took me a little longer to fall asleep than usual, but I slept like freaking rock.
Monday morning, the alarm completely surprised me. In fact, I think I actually said "Already?" to myself out loud. I could not believe how well I slept! I had planned on getting up and making breakfast, maybe getting some coffee before work. I had no children to dress and no Marc to drop off at school. There was no lunchbox to pack and no PBS kids on the TV. It was quiet! I just sat in the quiet and enjoyed it until it was time to leave for work.
I work half days, so afterwards I headed over to the campus to pick up some things for my students. I'm friends with a couple of the other teachers there, and since I had absolutely no reason to go home, we went out for lunch! We sat and laughed, we made plans for the very near future, we discussed things that had nothing to do with children, and I never once had a reason to worry about my family. They weren't home anyway, and I was free to roam!
Monday night, I brought Chinese over to my friend's house. She just had two beautiful babies, so the two of us sat and chatted, I held and fed and kissed babies, we drank Cokes and talked about politics and religion and work.
"You know what I'm gonna do when I leave here?" I asked her. "I'm gonna go to the store and get a case of Coke, then I'm gonna drink as many as I want!"
"You rebel!" she said. It's true. I'm a party animal. And actually, I bought Cokes, but I also bought some beer and drank two of them. There was no hanging out at the coffeeshop all day or the bar all night. There were no hours at the bookstore. Just me hanging out at my friend's house and then going back to my own house. Then, I played CastleVille on Facebook and watched TV until I was too tired to stay up anymore. I went to bed around midnight.
Then, when I passed Marc's room, I got a little sad. I usually get sad when Marc's not in his room, though, so that's nothing new. I miss him when he's at his dad's. Then I walked towards our room and looked in to Charlotte's and got sadder.
It took me a very long time to fall asleep. My husband usually talks to me or holds me until I fall asleep. I just kind of had to get over that. Once I was asleep, though, I slept like a rock. Again.
There were no little tiny feet waking me up in the morning. There was no husband in the bathroom, either. I had to drag myself out of bed and force the toothbrush onto my teeth. I was not pleased that there were no children to dress or lunches to pack. I was not enjoying the complete silence in my home. I was actually lonely. I made my coffee, packed my bag for work, and left.
When I came home, I reheated leftover Chinese food for lunch and drank as many Cokes as I wanted (two). I played CastleVille and watched TV. Mitch and Charlotte were due home before dinner, so that gave me a few hours of alone time, not that I needed it.
I had also planned on scrubbing the house from top to bottom while they were gone. There were no little hands to destroy my handy work. Obviously, that didn't happen, and a couple hours before they were due home was a horrible time to start.
Around 4pm, a red minivan pulled into our driveway. I was so happy to see them! Charlotte came running up the steps of our porch. "Mom! Mom!" And I have to admit, Mitch looked more handsome than he did when he left!
I loved being a single person. Single Val was so awesome and independent, and no one would dare move her soap! But I didn't realize how lonely she was until she became Mama Val. I love my alone time, I really do, but I also hate being in the house by myself. I like the toddler screams! I love the ten year old boy whines! And I really love arguing about money with my husband. Or, more accurately, I love having a husband to argue about money with.
Marc comes back home tomorrow. I'm hoping I have to fight him to get his homework done and practice his violin. I also think I prefer my alone time in small doses of a few hours instead of a few days!
How about you? Do you ever get any alone time? What do you do with it? And more importantly, can anyone send me some wood planks in CastleVille? Not that I'll have time for that now that everyone's home!
I do the same when Gabbie stays the night with grandma...except it is with a bottle of very cheap wine and a pizza. It is great for the evening, morning is a different story. I miss the "momma momma, eat" and snuggle hugs.My kids are all but grown, and I'm sure they'll be moving out before I know it. But I'm not looking forward to that! It's been a very long time since I had the house to myself, and while I too love my husband and my kids, I find myself daydreaming sometimes about what life would be like if I didn't have to pick up after people or cook meals for four or pay the electric bill after my son leaves all the lights on overnight.I enjoy a few hours solo, but I'm with you no overnights without husband. And even then, only one without kids. I get weirder without them.Know what you mean. We all need time to ourselves, but in small doses. For me, my husband was working in Dallas in 2009. I didn't mind to much after nearly 20 years of marriage but I did notice how nice it was to have someone to take up the slack. With my Fibro it was hard making sure my son got to where ever he needed to be. Now that husband is working from home he drives me crazy. He does not respect my time. I think he thinks I am waiting for the latest news on his job. He doesn't understand that after a while I know what goes on and I really don't need to hear it everyday. He has gone to Illinios to visit his dad who is in a home close to his sisters and taken our son with him. I hate the thought of them leaving but I really don't mind them being gone. Son is 15 so it isn't the same as having a little one to fuss over. As for being alone when they are gone. Doesn't happen. My mom lives with us and doesn't ever do anything or go anywhere. At most I get a free hour or two while she runs a few errands. I do wonder what life will be like when she is gone (she's 76 and my grandmother lived to be 93) and when my son is out of the house, preferably away at college. I am not sure I will like it much if hubby is still working at home. We will drive each other nuts.The rare moment when all of the kids are gone at the same time, I try to make plans to do something fun. Even if I just go see a movie by myself, but I am different than I used to be. No more all nighters, those nights I spent hours talking at coffee shops, etc. The hardest time I have is the overnights, because the house is so quiet, but when I got the dog a few years ago, that helped that tremendously.
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