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Lindsay Metcalf
on Jun 19 2013 - 06:00 AM
My top five most important moments of the summer so far
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mara williams
on Jun 18 2013 - 06:00 AM
Hey, manchild, mama says: clean your room, wash the dishes, don't drink and drive.
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Emily Parnell
on Jun 16 2013 - 06:00 AM
Eating fresh, local produce is good for body and soul
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Jim Cosgrove
on Jun 13 2013 - 06:00 AM
I just want to buy some pants. Please, turn down the music.
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"I am SuperMarc, the great protector of those in need! Do not cross me, bullies!"
Just before the last school year ended I wrote a little about bullies. I was concerned that my son's fierce resistence to school may have been the result of him being bullied. Before this new year started, I sat him down and had a conversation with him about it, and he was finally able to admit it.
It doesn't seem as though the person doing most of the bullying is at his school this year. Still, we had a talk about how to deal with kids when they pick on you. Marc's first reaction is generally to cry, then he tends to withdraw completely. A couple of times I've seen him stand up for himself, but not often.
I explained: if someone is saying or doing something to you that makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, you have the right to tell them to stop. If they do not stop, you have the right to tell them again. If they still do not stop, you have the right to let the teacher know. I also explained that this is not the same as tattling. He is allowed to get help from an adult, and if his teacher isn't willing to help then I'll help.
I don't think Marc will have a problem. He has become a lot more assertive this summer (unfortunately, he practices on us sometimes...). While we were talking about it, however, I got a message from the mom of one of Marc's classmates. She was also concerned about bullying. Her son was picked on a lot last year, and she was trying to figure out who was also in their class. I was telling Marc about this, and trying to get him to remember who his new classmates were.
Then, Marc did something amazing.
He offered to keep an eye on this friend of his. Marc wasn't afraid of some bullies, he said. He told me he'll help anyone out. He's good at standing up for others.
He reminded me of the time when he was on the playground with a group of other boys. One of the boys said "Raise your hand if you don't want to play with Michael!" Everyone raised their hand except Marc. He told the other boys that he wanted to play with Michael, and if they didn't like it they could go somewhere else. He and Michael have been friends ever since.
Is this what is happening when I'm not looking? Is my son turning into a... dare I say it... superhero? Yes, yes I think that's happening!
He's SuperMarc! Protector of the innocent! Friend of the friendless! Defender of the downtrodden! Yes, SuperMarc will smite any evil and thwart any bully's dastardly plans! Dunh, da da DA!! (That last bit was supposed to be theme music.) Maybe all those comic books I read while I was pregnant really did something. Hmm...
I couldn't be more proud. I saw that little boy he promised to help when I dropped Marc off at school the first day. He's always been such a kind and sweet kid. He beamed at Marc when he sat down. "Hi, Marc!" he said with a grin. "I heard what you said!" This kid couldn't be happier to know that someone else has got his back. That's MY kid that did that.
Yes, I'm bragging on my kid. Wouldn't you? It's all I've ever wanted. How smart, handsome, or talented he is doesn't even compare to the kind of person he is. And he's a great person!
I am proud of your son too! I hope I can teach my son to look out for other kids. We need more super heroes!!YAY! Looks like you're teaching your children well. I'm a big believer in standing up to bullies (who are just cowards, trying to put others down to raise themselves up). Keep reinforcing and rewarding those good things, you'll never be sorry you did.Every kid that gets bullied in school needs to have a buddy to stick by him. One of my sons friends from elementary school has left their high school for another because he was bullied for 4 years. I would hate to think that my son had the opportunity to stick up for his old friend and didn't.
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