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Christi Diggs
on May 23 2013 - 06:00 AM
A drop of spin, a cup of deception and tsp. politics=Apathy
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Lindsay Metcalf
on May 22 2013 - 06:00 AM
When that tornado siren sounds, I'm in the basement
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mara williams
on May 21 2013 - 06:00 AM
Summer break has this mom on a house upkeep war path.
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My day generally begins around 6:20 am, when Charlotte lands her little toddler feet on the floor of her room and then runs them into mine, over to my side of my bed. I try with much futility to get her to fall back asleep in our bed. When I finally give up, I land my own feet on the floor and moan. After changing Little Lotte Sunshine's diaper, I trudge down the stairs where Marc has already made camp in front of the television with a bowl of cereal and a blanket. I get Charlotte a cup of milk and some ridiculously easy belly filler for breakfast, then I lay on the couch and nap for another hour or so. Then I get up, make coffee, eat something, and force myself into some clothes. By that time, there are only a couple of short hours left before lunch.
You see, I just don't hop out of bed, get dressed, cook a nutritious breakfast for my family, and start the day with a smile. Heck, sometimes I don't even get dressed, much less really eat something. I have Fibromyalgia.
What the heck is Fibromyalgia?
Fibromyalgia, by my own personal definition, is a chronic illness in which the symptoms include pain in every muscle and joint, constant exhaustion and fatigue, sensitivities to things like light and sound (stop yelling!), and is often exacerbated by strenuous excercise and certain food sensitivites. It is known to cause serious procrastination, a mountain of filthy laundry, a trash can full of take-out containers from dinner because cooking is too hard, and can cause migrains in spouses of those with the illness from copious amounts of whining and complaining from the sufferer.
The way I see it, I still have to be a mom. I've wanted to be a mom ever since I knew what a mom was. So, here I am. My dream has come true. Now I gotta do it.
What? No way! How can you be a mom with Fibromyalgia? Why don't you just hire someone to do that for you?
Uh, right. I mean, what do you expect me to do? Quit being a mom? You're funny! You should be a comedian!
No, I make it through. Check it out:
1. The kids: are they fed? Are they clean? Do they have any needs I can meet for them? Marc is nine, so he can do a lot of things himself. That saves me a lot of energy. He is also old enough to reason with, and he knows that sometimes I don't feel good and I can't take him to the park. Charlotte is just a baby, so it's harder, but I refuse to feel guilty for letting her watch TV. If I was fully functioning, it might be different, but this is just not the case. Thank goodness for Netflix!
2. The housework: pfft. Okay. I am not the world's best housekeeper by any stretch of the imagination. If I can keep the dishes clean, food put away, laundry done enough so we have clean things to wear, and the downstairs generally free of dangerous obstacles I'm doing good. I don't dust. I don't wash windows. I save deep cleaning for when I'm feeling well and most of the place is pretty disorganized. When you're tired, housework ranks very low on the list of priorities.
3. The husband: What a good guy! He takes care of himself. He helps with the laundry and he cooks for us a lot. If there were a lottery where you won the best husband instead of money, I won!
4. The Valorie: am I fed? Am I clean? Do I have any needs that need to be met? I try to be as careful with my body as possible, but I also have to have things to enjoy in life. I enjoy gardening, but I only garden when I'm feeling well. I won't go outside if it's above 100 degrees or below 20 degrees. I take naps, I'm careful not to wear clothes that are too complicated or uncomfortable, I drink lots and lots of water, and I don't feel guilty for lazing about on the couch.
See? I make it through. It's not easy, make no mistake. My feet hurt, my hips hurt, I'm tired, and sometimes I'm grouchy. Don't feel sorry for me, because that annoys the heck out of me. Don't hug me, because you might hurt me. I'll hug you instead. Don't be surprised if I get mad. Sometimes I scream and yell and stomp around because I'm so mad!
Why am I mad? My husband left a wet rag on the sink and I leaned against it and now my pants are wet! What an inconsiderate jerk!
Wait, no. That's not it. I'm just in so much pain that everything peeves me off.
I know I'm not the only mom here with chronic pain of some sort. Do you have Fibromyalgia? RA? Diabetes? How do you get through the days?
I get through the days by taking them one day at a time. Sometimes I'm good, sometimes I'm bad, and each day I make adjustments. I have to. I have Fibromyalgia, but I'm still a mom, and I still have to live my life. It's just a different kind of life, lived from a different perspective.
I feel your pain! I have Fibromyalgia as well, although I don't think mine is severe. Sometimes it hits hard, though, and when it does all I want to do is sleep. My kids are all but grown so they pretty much take care of themselves, which leaves me with DH and myself. I think the body part I suffer with the most is my feet. Oh, man, do they hurt!!!I taught my 8 year old son to change his baby sisters diapers!! YES! He also gets baby sis out of her high chair for me (hallelujah!) and is responsible for keeping the living room tidy (bless that boy). He also enjoys making the occasional lunch of pb&j for everyone when I simply cannot prepare a meal. So far, he has such a good heart, but soon he'll have to go back to school. :(I too feel your pain, as I have Fibrohell too! My legs, shoulders and neck are what hurt me the most. My kids are mostly grown, just have 17 yr old DS left at home. I do have grandbabies now though, and it is so hard not to be able to play with them, or do things a Nana should be able to do! They see Nana sleeping, a lot! It makes me sad. Thank heavens for DH, he takes over with most things I can't, I am blessed. Thanks for writing this blog, so many people don't understand Fibro, or the emotional pain that it causes those who suffer from it. I'm not lazy, I can't move!Thanks for the great blog Val. You nailed of lot of issues on the head. For me I just struggle through every day. DH and DS pay for it in uncountable ways. If it were up to me I would stay home most days and am happy to not leave the house. Getting ready to go out it tiring. With me I ache all over a lot and also can't really be hugged, but my other issue is that the severe pain jumps around. Yesterday my knee felt like a sledge hammer hit it every time I put pressure on it. All last fall my right heal hurt. The more I walked the more it hurt. It took three months of physical therapy to figure out how to make the pain go away. A month or so later my left shoulder started hurting. Most of the time the pain like my knee will go away but I am constantly fighting pain like my shoulder. After physical therapy didn't work seven months later I finally went to another doctor and talked her into a cortizone shot. Now that the shoulder is better well see what hurts next. Don't even get me started on the chronic gut issues that the doctors can't get control of.
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