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Lindsay Metcalf
on Jun 19 2013 - 06:00 AM
My top five most important moments of the summer so far
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mara williams
on Jun 18 2013 - 06:00 AM
Hey, manchild, mama says: clean your room, wash the dishes, don't drink and drive.
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Emily Parnell
on Jun 16 2013 - 06:00 AM
Eating fresh, local produce is good for body and soul
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Jim Cosgrove
on Jun 13 2013 - 06:00 AM
I just want to buy some pants. Please, turn down the music.
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I share custody of Marc with his dad, which means Marc lives with me half of the time and with his dad half of the time. You can imagine how important my time with him is to me. It's as precious as gold! To adjust for workplace responsibilities, I have the pleasure of having Marc with us every weekend. I just want to give you an idea of what a typical Saturday and Sunday is like around here, and please understand that it breaks this mama's heart sometimes to see him go from my sweet little baby to big, big kid.
Marc tends to wake up much earlier than everyone else on days when there is no school. Lately, he's been getting up so early that when we come downstairs in the morning, he's gone.
Gone.
"MARC!" I yell across the street to his friend's house. "COME HOME AND EAT BREAKFAST!"
Do I like that he's left the house before anyone is even awake? No I do not. But Sunday, that's what he did. He's nine years old, he crosses the street by himself, and he has a friend over there who's family wakes up before his. He used to wake me up and ask first, but I guess I answered "yes" enough times that he just predicts the answer.
After the forced frozen waffles, or pancakes, or whatever it is we make for breakfast, he heads to the backyard to play with his friends. Breakfast takes about two seconds. Sometimes I even make him bunny pancakes! But does he appreciate it? No he does not.
Lunchtime comes along and I have to hunt him down at this neighbor's or that neighbor's. He's never more than two houses away. He generally inhales lunch in moments as well. Sometimes he'll take longer if I invite his friends to eat with us. But after a few minutes, he's gone again.
"Marc," I said yesterday. "I'm going to Sutherland's to buy plants. Do you want to come with?"
Nope.
"Marc, I'm going to the grocery store. Do you want to come with? I'll buy you a soda!" I'll sometimes say this with the biggest grin on my face. Bribes will work, right?
He's busy.
"Marc, I'm going to the toy store to buy lots and lots of toys and after that I'm getting ice cream and then we're going to Super Happy Land where all your dreams will come true! Wanna come?"
Uh-uh.
He's nine years old, he doesn't hang out with his mom. He either plays pirates with his friends, jumps on his friend's trampoline, plays with the hose with his friends, plays video games with his friends, or bugs me about calling some other friend who lives far away because the neighbors aren't home. No time to hang out with Old Mom.
No time for Old Mom, who makes bunny pancakes, loves to go to kid movies, buys ice cream and pop, and totally plays video games.
Can you imagine how this breaks my heart? I only get to be with him half time, and that time he would rather be with his friends than with me. What happened to my little baby who followed me around everywhere, begged me to play with him, and would drag me to every kid movie he could? Why is he nine and a half? Why?
Because kids grow up.
It's okay though. Would you like to know why? Because he still needs his mommy to lay down with him at bedtime. He still needs me to bring him a piece of cheese before he falls asleep because he's still hungry after dinner. He needs to me to pour him a glass of milk, even though he knows he can do it himself. Mommy does it better. Plus, the other night when I left his room and turned to tell him I loved him, do you know happened?
"Mom," he said. "You're awesome."
My kid thinks I'm awesome! And that's why I'm at peace with my little boy growing up. He's going to grow up, and it's going to seem like his friends are more important. But you know what? His friends really should be important to him. I want him to be the kind of person who's good to other people. It's not about me, or how popular I am with him. I'm his mom, and he'll always love me. Right now, he's learning to love others. When he's a man and on his own, he'll know how to form good, lasting relationships.
I want him to have good relationships. And he does.
As he gets older you know if will be worse, or better, depending on how you look at it. Mine is 15 and while he hates going shopping with me, and all the other stuff, I know there are times when he still needs his mom, and will for a long time. Although when the grow up and get married then they will do what the wife always wants because they know they need to keep their wife happy. Then I guess we will need to have good relationships with their wives or we will never see them.
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